Better pre-plan your lucid dreaming or risk painful embarrassments like this one

I have always wanted to be able to engage in lucid dreaming. Meaning, you can enter an alternate universe, where you’re in control! I actually know someone who can do this. When we talked about it, that night, I had my one and only lucid dream. Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared, so given an entire universe to control, I was overwhelmed with the exciting possibilities and had something like writer’s block! I couldn’t decide between flying. . .or being some kind of princess. . . so I decided to be maybe some kind of flying. . . princess. . . and frankly it just didn’t work out terribly well. It was hard to concentrate on both at once. So, I wanted to mention this so that if you should so happen to be gifted with the opportunity to have a lucid dream, you will have perhaps have taken the time beforehand to PLAN OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN, so that you can have a cool, creative dream (go back in time! Hang out with Julius Caesar in Ancient Rome! The two of you can then drive a chariot out to see dinosaurs frolic underneath the enchanted ocean! Then you can go have crazy sex with robots! Whatever!) Whatever you think of beforehand and plan for is undoubtedly going to be cooler and more creative than a . . . flying. . .princess. As in, a princess who flies. What was that, some kind of rejected Mattel spin-off Saturday morning cartoon plot?

Ick-knacks

Our new word for those knick-knacks you get as gifts that you really dislike.